Seniors Network

"On 7-03-2006 my daily newspaper carried a story of a local authority that banned the Nursery Rhyme about "Baa Baa Black Sheep," on the grounds that the use of the word 'black' might offend some people.  It was suggested that the rhyme should be changed to 'Rainbow Sheep.'  Honest!!!  How daft can this world get'  This is my response.    
 

Rainbow Sheep

 

Were living in such crazy times,

With some 'upset' at nursery rhymes,

If this should shock, that's tough: I'll risk it,

But 'Rainbow Sheep' just takes the biscuit.

 

If black's offensive with regard to sheep,

Did anyone bother telling Little Bo Peep'

And, perhaps, Snow White we should re-write,

Also Mary's lambs, whose fleece was white.

 

There are also matters of a different hue,

What comes to mind?  It's Little Boy Blue,

And how about these other words,

Black spot is one, blackout, blackbirds.

 

If I was in a real, black mood,

Would I be offensive, sick or rude?

It's the daftest thing I've ever heard,

Much 'PC speak' is just absurd.

 

Some Scottish sheep I've seen were tartan,

Tell that to kids in kindergarten,

Would some folk start to shout and bellow,

Because Dorothy's winding brick road's yellow?

 

Bobby Shaftoe, it's said, was fine and fair,

When combing down his yellow hair,

And are there any further shocks,

In the ancient tale of Goldie Locks?

 

 Jack broke his head when he fell down,

The paper 'bandage' used was brown,

Our world's becoming ever duller,

With some obsessed by words of colour.

 

Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum! should, surely, face a ban,

For smelling the blood of an Englishman,

Why not someone of a different nation,

Or would that, too, be an abomination?

 

Finally, the child born on the Sabbath day,

Is fair of face and good and gay,

When reading that, are some offended?

It's time this 'PC lark' was ended.

 

I was born a Sunday's child, and it's something I hold dear,

But I'm not fair, or good or gay: now isn't that just queer?

And as for Rainbow Sheep, when the Daily Express got wind,

Common sense quickly prevailed and the daft idea was binned.

 

'George Kirby  2006

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