A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,  years ago.
Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.  
Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us  realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

 But  there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have,  or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the  most  grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

 

After several seconds  of  quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly  said, "Wedding Cake."

---

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country  Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm.  She  hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

 

His  buddies  at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him  and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies,

"Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So,  how did you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies. "What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

---

A group of Americans were travelling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process  of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.

She showed the group  a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These" she explained "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."  

She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"