Dear Dad
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, 'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened
the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
'Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with
Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of
her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight
Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said
that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't, really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the
other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure
for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get
to know your many grandchildren.
Love your son Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the school report that's on my desk. Call when it is safe
for me to come home.