Seniors Network

 Grandparent - Grandchild Relationships

Important shifts in grandparenthood have taken place in recent years as a result of increased life expectancy. More people are becoming grandparents today than ever before. Many grandparents are also becoming great-grandparents and even great-great-grandparents. About three-quarters of persons age 65 and over are grandparents, and nearly half of all grandparents will also become great-grandparents. Not unlike retirement, being a grandparent is often looked upon as an ambiguous role in that there are no clearly defined guidelines or norms attached to grandparenting.

Often grandmothers are not differentiated from grandfathers, and sometimes the line between grandparents and greatgrandparents is also blurred.

 Pererceptions of Grandparents

In a study of middle-class older couples, in 1968, it was found that not everyone enjoys being a grandparent. A third of the respondents experienced difficulty in performing the grandparent role satisfactorily and felt that the role was uncomfortable, unrewarding, and disappointing.

The study also revealed that the grandparent role holds different meanings for different people. For some, it gives a feeling of biological renewal and continuity; they derive a sense of immortality through their grandchildren. Others feel that the grandparent role provides them with emotional self-fulfillment and the satisfaction of being a teacher and a resource person. A few saw grandparenthood as a chance for vicarious achievement-that is, they felt that grandchildren might accomplish what they and their children had not.

The grandparent role tends to be so varied that Neugarten and Weinstein were able to distinguish five types of grandparents: 

1. The formal grandparent enjoys giving presents and indulging grandchildren but is careful not to encroach on the parents' responsibility and authority.
2. The fun seeker has an informal, playful relationship with grandchildren and often sees them as a source of leisure activity. The grandparents in this group, instead of indulging their grandchildren, tend to emphasize mutual satisfaction.
3. The surrogate parent role pertains to grandmothers whose daughters work and who are responsible for the care of grandchildren during the day.
4. The reservoir of family wisdom type refers mostly to grandfathers who maintain an authoritarian position in the family and dispense knowledge and special skills.
5. The distant figure grandparent has only brief contacts with grandchildren on holidays and special occasions, seeing them infrequently otherwise.

The style of grandparenting also relates to age. The fun seekers and distant figure types are found more frequently among younger grandparents, whereas the formal grandparents are more typical of older grandparents.