Perceptions of Grandchildren excerpts from the book "Sociology of Aging"  by Diana K Harris

The type of grandparent that one prefers tends to be related to the age of the grandchild. Kahana and Kahana (1970) found that pre-school age children valued indulgent grandparents who gave them food and presents, whereas slightly older ones wanted grandparents to be active and "fun sharing." Robertson (1976) reports that young adults between the ages of 18 and 26 described the ideal grandparent as  

• one who loves and enjoys grandchildren

• one who visits them

• one who shows interest

• one who is helpful when needed 

A survey of 500 junior high and high school students found that most of the respondents had a positive attitude toward their grandparents. When asked what they liked most about their grandparents, the most frequent response was "they are nice," followed by "they are easier to talk to than my parents," and "they listen to me and understand my problems."  

The most often repeated criticism of grandparents was they were "old-fashioned." Some students felt that grandparents complained too much, while others found them boring and too talk?ative. When the students were asked in what ways they could help their grandpar?ents, they replied, "visiting them or writing them more often," "doing work around their house," and "loving them." 

The attitudes of children toward the elderly are often influenced by their own experience within the family. One study found that young people who had grand?parents and great-grandparents had fewer prejudices against older persons than those who did not.  (Bekker & Taylor, 1966). Gilford and Black (1972) explored how grand?children develop positive sentiments for their grandparents. Their findings suggest that attitudes and feelings toward grandparents are largely transmitted from parent to child and tend to persist into adulthood. There has been some speculation that children observe how their parents relate to their (the children's) grandparents and often treat their parents similarly when they get old.  

The following version of a common European folk tale illustrates this point:

A family would not let the grandfather eat at the table with the rest of them. Instead, they placed his food in a little wooden trough some distance from the others, and there, out of sight and hearing, the old man ate his meals. One day the middle-aged father came across his young son hammering some nails into a couple of boards. "What are you doing?" his father asked. Glancing up from his work, the son replied, "It's for you when you get old." Shocked by that glimpse of his own future, the father hastily invited the old man to rejoin the family at the table. (Jones, 1977)