Seniors Network

Grandparenting Rules

"Grandma," "Geh-ma," "Grandpa," "Papa," "Pop-Pop," "Nana" "Gran" "Gramps",

That's what your precious grandchildren call you. (Feel free to add to this list if you don't see your name here.)  Being a grandparent elevates one to a status worthy of presidents or heads of state.  You've raised your kids and suddenly your children are now having children of their own.

The best part? For most of us, we get to play with them and then go home to peace and quiet.

However, some grandparents are deserving of the OBE, or an Oscar. This exalted group are raising their own grandchildren whose parents are unable to for any number of reasons. Kudos to all of you out there who have been forced into playing a dual role, that of parent and grandparent.

Every role in life comes with its own "dos" and "don'ts" and being a grandparent is no exception.

Grand Magazine tells us grandparents to avoid the following top six mistakes:

1. Don't tell the world they're expecting. Feel honoured that your children have shared their secret with you, so respect that and keep from blabbing it to everyone.

2. Don't play the name game. This generation's choices are different than yours. When your kids announce they want to name their child after a fruit or something, practice saying "wow!" or some such comment and try to refrain from being negative even if you don't agree with their choice.

3. Don't be Dr. Spock. Baby-raising techniques have changed. The experts and the books are different. Don't be insistent and force your views upon your children. Offer advice only as a suggestion from your experience but don't be offended if it is not received as well as you expected.

4. Don't just be a visitor. Many grandparents think they are supposed to just "drop in" and visit. Here's a better idea: Prove your worth. Try to help out a busy young mother by doing dishes, shopping, baby-sitting (the most welcomed service a grandparent can do!), whatever you can do to help.

5. Don't buy before you ask. This is harder than it sounds. You, as a grandparent, feel you want to buy the world for your grandchildren. Avoid resentment on your children's part by asking first before you buy, whether it's a christening gown for the new little one or a toy, be sure you have the parent's approval.

6. Follow the parent's rules, even if you disagree with them. Remember that you (except for the exalted group above that are raising their grandchildren) are not the parents, your children are. They are the ones making the decisions on how their children are to be raised so respect that, follow that and zip your lip. (A little support goes a long way here!)

Being a grandparent has its own rewards. The benefits of being a grandparent are very similar to the following famous quote by Helen Keller:
 

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, or even touched; they must be felt with the heart."

Whether your contribution is large or small to your grandchildren, what you actually do is important. when a close relationship is formed. This attachment is often developed for life.

     The following quote  is so true of being a grandparent:

     "You will receive far more than you can ever give!"